I often get asked what it is like to work with my Dad.
The following entry will cover the good, bad, and ugly and provide some insights for those of you who are working with a close friend or family member.
The good is that their really isn’t a good, bad and ugly when it comes to working with dad. My Dad is a rock star. He has so many talents and capabilities in addition to being one of the best dads you will meet. The father of four girls, he can tie a mean braid and even do curlers pretty well. We have always been very close and over time we found we had very complimentary skill sets to offer clients. When the right time in both of our lives intersected we decided to join forces. We believed together we had something unique and meaningful to offer people. We definitely got more than we bargained for.
Working with dad over these last few years we have grown individually and in our relationship with each other. Each day I feel very grateful to have had this time with him. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It definitely has been an evolving process. I am bossy and very linear. Dad is more creative and much more diplomatic when it comes to his opinions. We take turns having ebbs and flows in productivity based on our outside commitments. One of the keys to our relationship is the symbiosis between our skills and capabilities. Together we create perfect balance in terms of the skills our clients require to achieve their goals. The longer we work together the better able we are to represent each other's points of view.
5 Tips for working with family:
1) know what is at stake and what it is really worth to you
At some point you may butt heads or find the relationship isn’t working. But this isn’t a business associate you can easily cut ties with. Going in you must know if the worse occurs what you are willing to give up for the sake of the relationship.
2) through tension comes progress, but know when it is time to take a step back
Dad and I have had our heated moments, but we remind each other when it is time to take a step back because frustration is clouding judgment. We usually come back with new ideas and have a laugh at how committed we can be to something that may not have been so important after all.
3) agree to have two relationships and be clear which hat you are wearing
When I need to talk to dad about business I tell him, “I am going to talk with you as your business partner” this helps us switch modes to present and hear information with a different lens than if we were in dad and daughter mode.
Growing up many of us heard our dad say “I am your dad not your friend.” This approach applies to the business relationship because you may have to say “today I am your business partner not your daughter or friend.” When the tough decisions come to the table you can discuss the pros and cons as friends and family but the decision should be made by the ruthless business person :-)
4) know that you may grow while working together but you won’t change each other’s core characteristics
I have always thought that in a marriage you are in such close proximity that you rub up against each other wearing down the rough edges of each other’s personalities occasionally this may leave you a bit raw but ultimately you have evolved for the better. This is also true in a business partnership. I have seen my skills and approach evolve. Sometimes I respond to a client and I am sure I am channeling my dad. Likewise my dad will tell you I have also shaped his approach to things. He has become a planning junkie J
However, at our core our personality characteristics are the same. Dad will rarely walk a straight line and if I push him to I will only frustrate myself. For example, Dad endeavors in the creative process. When we were writing the book, I would push the timeline and he would be agitated because it interrupted his creative process. I would have to take a step back and realize that while project management is great…patience is better because when Dad is ready to write it—it is a home run in the first draft.
Working with family you have to accept each others traits and the benefits they bring to the table. I have seen animals be trained to do things outside of their nature, but I have yet to see a zebra change its stripes!
5) make sure you share the same vision and values then the path is negotiable
Dad and I often see different approaches to things but as long as our eye is on the same target it just becomes negotiation.
The best part of working with Dad has been the laughs we have shared along the way. For example, we were once in a client meeting where I became tongue tied. A regular word came out as a bad word. I continued pretending nothing happened. The client had a funny expression wondering if he had heard me right but knowing what I really meant to say. The voice inside me said—don’t look at dad. I knew one glance over at him and I wouldn’t be able to hold a straight face….Dad caught my eye. The client, dad and I had a very good laugh. I think our clients enjoy the inter play between the two of us. When they ask how it is to work with dad, all I can say is that I am having the time of my life!
